Solid Advice for the Future

So I went and pulled chinese elms out of the raspberry bushes today for a solid half hour plus. At this point I came to a realization: Pulling trees out of the ground with your bare hands hurts. My hands are all sore and raw now from rubbing on the bark I suppose. So if you are looking to be pulling trees anytime in the future, wear some gloves. You will thank me later.

sigh...

So I've been doing a lot of thinking today and I came to a realization. All my former crushes and infatuations with other girls (including my former "girlfriend") seem just worthless and silly compared to the way I feel about my Tori. I just care about this girl so much it really confuses me and scares me in a way. We really haven't been dating all that long and yet I feel so comfortable with her, like we belong together. And the strangest part? All I seem to be able to write these days is sappy stuff like this...even though I have plenty to complain about (i mean, bushler is still in chrge isn't he?). This relationship is the best thing that has ever happened to me, even if I have turned into a wuss. hahaha

....I think I've been in Utah too long... :)

Life is Fragile

So I just got home from sitting with one of my best friends at the emergency room (and then taking him home). He has pains all over his body, especially his back, is throwing up, has a fever, a headache, and is dizzy. The reason this is ER worthy is that he is also diabetic, and badly. Turns out they think he just has the flu (an odd thing for this time of year) but they still gave him an IV and loaded him up with morphine. However, his EKG showed a partial blockage developing in a portion of his heart. I feel so bad for the guy, he never gets a break. Hopefully the heart thing won't get worse, but with his diabetes and all it is hard to say... Meanwhile, in the 'stall' next to us there was this little baby who has had a 102+ fever for like 3 days and has been in and out of the hospital. I also heard some guy who had just been in a car wreck. Kind of a jarring night...it's scary to think about the possibility of my friend dying, I don't know what I'd do. And him combined with all the other insanity reminded me jsut how crazy and fragile life is, and how lucky I am to be as healthy as I am...

Out of my nature

So it is unlike me to write poetry, let alone sappy free form peotry, but while I was at work about 70% of this just popped into my head. Yes, it is a bit overwrought and dramatic, but it's supposed to be, it's poetry right? Anyway, be kind, it is a first draft basically....also, I can't help that I have fallen....HARD. And now, without further ado:

As I walk out the door
It starts
The deep, painful longing,
The emptiness that comes
When you're not there

And I know it's not love
How could it be?
But it's the closest I've ever been
And it scares me a bit
To think
That I could care for someone
So much, so fast.

And yet...
I know I could feel so much more
And it amazes me,
The depth of human emotion
But even that thought cannot
Drown out the thoughts
Of you.

Your beautiful eyes
Like daggers
Piercing to my very soul.
Your wonderful smile
That warms me
To the very core.
Your amazing spirit
That soothes and calms
Like the sweetest lullaby.
You just make me so
happy
When we are together.

I can't bear to
Be away from you,
Yet I know that I must.
We both have lives to lead
And you are so close,
But yet,
So far.

I yearn for the time
I can see you again;
Hear your voice,
See your face,
Feel your embrace...

Until then,
What I'm trying to say is...
I miss you

Eminem Sucks

So in my travels through cyberspacelandtown today I came across an article about the 10 things every single guy and girl should own. It was basically an article about what things singles should have in their homes to make a good impression. I noticed that one of the things listed for girls was to have an Eminem CD. This was supposed to impress guys by showing that the girl has a diverse musical taste and that she is not easily offended as well as to show that she likes "cool music". Of course, as anyone who knows me would already know, I immediately had a problem with that. Mainly based on the premise that eminem sucks and thereby by extension I would automatically think that said girl liked crappy not cool music. I also took exception that this would show a broad musical horizon. Top 10 corporate sponsored rap (arguably the #1 genre in this country) is not a broad musical taste. You know, maybe if she ranged from jazz to blues to indie or something like that it would show a broad musical taste. Or even if she just went beyond the normal radio fare it would show a fairly broad musical taste these days. On a final note, having an eminem cd also does not necessarily imply that someone is not easily offended, on the contrary, it could mean that she is ignorant and/or closed minded (see eminems homophobic, violent, self absorbed, etc lyrics). That is my rant for the evening. The end.